100 Useless Tidbits About Me

1. Last beverage → Water
2. Last phone call → Ahem. Suffice it to say it cost me a lot of money per minute. Didn’t get what I wanted too. Whatay ripoff.
3. Last text message → Ditto.
4. Last song you listened to → Hmm. My sister’s horrible rendition of “Mar Jaawaa”. Not that it’s a great song.
5. Last time you cried → Today. Rubbed my pickle stained hand on my eye. Don’t laugh, it hurts okay!

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice → No.
7. Been cheated on? → No. Really. Seriously.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Jeez. Loads of them. I am quite liberal with love.
9. Lost someone special? → Well, not really.
10. Been depressed? → Part of my daily routine. If I am awake between 2pm and 4pm, I wonder why I am awake. Which depresses me.
11. Been drunk? → Never. What? I have control okay?

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black
13. Maroon (still have my uniform sweater)
14. A toss between blue and green.

THIS PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends → Yup.
16. Fallen out of love → No. Sigh.
17. Laughed until you cried → Hehe. Oh yeah.
18. Met someone who changed you → They are still trying hard.
19. Found out who your true friends were → I always knew.
20. Found out someone was talking about you → That reminds me… Oh damn, lost opportunity!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list → Did I have to be sober for this? If not, I told you I am quite liberal with my love.

TRUTH:

22. How many kids do you want to have → As many as it is required to make FC wnwek (minus manager).
23. Do you have any pets → No. No. Not even lolcats.
24. Do you want to change your name? → And miss telling people my name means “The quality to discriminate between good and evil, and ironically, I can’t?” and getting those “Stop, you’re killing me with those PJs” looks? Why would I ever want to?
25. What did you do for your last birthday? → Gorged on McD’s Chicken McGrills. Yummy in my tummy!
26. What time did you wake up today? → Sometime after noon, when the sun began burning my face. Aah, being a bum, I tell you, has its benefits.
27. What were you doing at midnight last night? → Coding stuff for a secret project. Shush.
28. Name something you CANNOT wait for. → Easter.
29. Last time you saw your father→ 2 minutes ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Quite a laundry list are there.
31. What are you listening to right now → Me tapping on the keyboard, and my stomach growling with hunger. Where are those cookies?
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yup, he was my wingmate.
33. What’s getting on your nerves right now? → “Where’s my Guinness? Where’s my bloody Guinness?”
34. Whats your real name → Billy Beerbelly
35. Relationship Status → Depends. Are you a hot girl? Then, I am single.
36. Zodiac sign: Aries
37. Male or female → Alpha male
38. Elementary School → Anand Balwadi, Baroda/St. Paul’s, Delhi
39. Middle School → TIHS, Thuppai
40. High school → Bhavan’s Delhi
41. Hair color → Black
42. Long or short → Skinhead
43. Height → 6 feet and growing.
44. Do you have a crush on someone → What kind of a question is this? Of course!
45. What do you like about yourself? → My legs.
46. Piercings → Do vaccinations count?
47. Tattoos → Many stick-ons.
48. Righty or lefty → Both

FIRSTS :

49. First surgery → Wonly umbilical cord incision are there
50. First piercing → When a classmate put a drawing pin on my seat. It didn’t hurt so much when it went in, as much as when it was pulled out. Then the whole day, I wished the teacher would make me stand up for talking in class. Scheiss, the one day, the teacher is in a good mood.
51. First tattoo → When a “friend” threw ball pen ink on my forehead. Stuck on me for 3 days. Had to put 3 parallel bandaids, and wash my face everyday. It was so cool.
52. First best friend → Monu. He would beat me up with unfailing regularity.
53. First sport you joined → Bungee jumping. Without a rope. 8 months. 2 feet high wall. Lived to tell the tale.
54. First pet → I caught a grasshopper, tied a thread around it and brought it home. Couldn’t believe my mom asked me to throw it away. Was such luverly colours too. Orange and Green!
55. First vacation → First one I remember, is at my grandparent’s place. Beautiful farm. Many more animal stories there
56. First concert → Manna Dey and Kavita Krishnamurthy.
57. First crush → Pretty girl, two rows right of me in 3rd standard. Still wonder where you are sometimes. Studious girl, sitting beside her, Go to hell. I got many whipping because of your good marks.
58. First alcohol drink → Cough syrup.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating → Fingers. Bit by bit.
60. Drinking → It’s closing time in pubs in London on a Sat. night. I know what I should be drinking.
61. I’m about to → get yelled for staying up late.
62. Listening to → my stomach is still asserting itself.
63. Waiting for → What is this? To keep from forgetting? Easter! When I can lay my hands on chicken, mutton, fish, anything that has good meat!

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? → With my wife, yes. Hehe. Good question. Glad I missed that googly. Whew.
65. Want to get married? → To whom?
66. Careers in mind? → Rich playboy. I’ll retire then as a avuncular philanthropist, with my playboygiri relegated only to the night.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE SEX OF YOUR CHOOSING?
I choose females. Just so that you don’t confuse my answers, you buggers.

67. Lips or eyes → Both.
68. Hugs or kisses → Both. Preferably simultaneously.
69. Shorter or taller → Both. Again preferably simultaneously.
70. Older or Younger → +/- 2. Come in groups of 2 please.
71. Romantic or spontaneous → “spontaneously romantic”. Good Answer. I am leaving it as it is from the previous set of answers.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms → Usually females have both. (Thank god, I don’t have to choose.)
73. Tattoos or piercings → Don’t mind.
74. Sensitive or loud → Both at appropriate times.
75. Hook-up or relationship → This is a tough one. Maybe start out as hook-up and end as a relationship? Or vice-versa?
76. Trouble maker or hesitant → Definitely, both.

HAVE YOU EVER :

77. Kissed a stranger → Yes. Well, not technically.
78. Drank hard liquor → Yes.
79. Lost glasses/contacts → Never had any to lose them.
80. Sex on first date → Not that lucky.
81. Broken someone’s heart → Didn’t mean to, babe.
82. Had your own heart broken → Yeah. I did.
83. Been arrested? → No.
84. Turned someone down → Nope.
85. Cried when someone died → Never. I am worried about this.
86. Liked a friend that is a girl? → Huh? Haven’t we all watched When Harry Met Sally?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

87. Yourself → Sometimes
88. Miracles → Yup
89. Love at first sight → Has happened to some people I know. Not to me though.
90. Heaven → Yes. And Hell too. I am not sure how purgatory fits in though.
91. Santa Claus → What do you mean believe? He exists. Period.
92. Kissing on the first date? → Depends.
93. Angels → Yeah.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Not just one.
95. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No, that would be plain stupid. And expensive. And like the derivatives market. (Picking pennies in front of a steamroller.)
96. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Of course.
97. What’s the one thing you cannot live without? → Meat.
98. Who’s the most awesome kid ever? – My kid sister!

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